A Safer Way to Hug, With Mindfulness

With social distancing we realize how much we need human touch.

A good hug can bring joy, especially in these times. 

Sometimes this joy is greatly needed.

We need a way to have some contact, but more safely, because the virus is strong. So here’s a safer way to hug, mindfully.

Note: The hug is made safer by having clean hands and wearing well-fitting masks. Outside hugging is going to be safer than inside. Do not throw caution to the wind: You still need to be aware of environmental and personal risks, and maintain care for your actions.

The impact of this hug is increased by giving it a formal procedure that includes asking permission, preparing for safety, eye contact, respectful bowing, and mindful breathing. In addition, you can say to yourself during the hug, “She (or he) is alive in my arms, I am so happy.” If you were not holding your breath. you might use a longer form, adapted from Thich Nhat Hanh, that goes like this:

First breath: “I am alive in her (his) arms, I am so happy.”

Second breath: “He (she) is alive in my arms, I am so happy.”

Third breath: “We are alive in each others’ arms, I am so happy.”

An article on safer hugging helped inspire this meditation. It is by Tara Parker Pope, in her column Wellness in The New York Times titled How to Hug During a Pandemic.

Text of the Mindful Hugging, the Safer Way:

First, we ask permission: May I give you a hug, may we hug, the safer, mindful way?

Preparing by insuring clean hands and using well-fitting masks.

Then standing 6 feet apart, or more, facing each other. Making eye contact, then bowing to honor each other.

And getting ready, in a short while, to take 5 slow breaths with awareness, with eye contact if comfortable, using hand gestures matched to our breathing-in and breathing-out, so we can breathe together. And ready now to take 5 slow breaths, synchronizing with each other:

One slow, deep breath in…… and slow breath out…..

Another……..

And a third.

And a fourth.

And a fifth.

Then taking in a DEEP breath……, and holding it in for the whole hug.

Approaching each other, Turning our faces in opposite directions,

And embracing.

Thinking, “We are alive in each others’ arms, I am so happy.”

And now, releasing from the hug. And stepping back 6 or more feet…. and breathing again.

Ending by making eye contact, then bowing to each other, honoring the mindful presence of each other, in this moment.

May this be helpful. This is Donald, MBCT