How can I make amends for horrible things I have done?
Are there some acts so awful that they can’t be forgiven? Are there acts so terrible that amends are impossible?
What if you’ve shamed or abandoned someone? Is forgiveness or amends possible? In mindfulness the answer is yes. No matter how bad you or your friend have been there is a way to make amends.
Soldier. Perhaps he killed. Is it possible for a killer to make amends?
How about for people who get physical? For enemy soldiers even? People who abuse others? What could they do that could lead me to forgive them?
We might start by thinking about wasting our life-force on the energy of anger. Better I use my limited supply of life-force for good, don’t you think?
Here’s an example of great wrong that gets great amends, helping the perpetrator rid himself of guilty nightmares and also putting positive energy into the world.
A Vietnamese monk went so far as to extend his heart and help a former American soldier who had killed his own countrymen, who murdered 5 Vietnamese children during the war there.
The monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, led a retreat in the United States for American soldiers. This was many years after the Vietnam war. At the retreat one soldier confessed he had wantonly killed 5 Vietnamese children, in revenge for their village’s killing of his buddies. He cried as he confessed this to the group of retreatants. He spoke of having nightly terror dreams, nightmare, ever since. He didn’t know what to do. He felt he might not be able to live with his guilt.
The short story is that Thich Nhat Hanh suggested the former soldier, the man who killed children, help children now. And that he continue helping children in his life. The man complied, his nightmares stopped, he led a good life, and the world got an infusion of good energy.
I sincerely recommend clicking the link and learning how Thich Nhat Hanh helped this person. It is nothing less than extreme amends for an extreme act. .The name of the story is
“Thich Nhat Hanh and the Soldier Who Poisoned Five Children”.
Click at the end of this post to read the story.
The idea is that our next action is the most important. No matter what we did in the past, it still matters what we do next. After all, our next actions are the only things we have control over. Our karma may be the result of our lifetime of actions, but mindfulness adds that the last one is most important, the one that counts the most, as I see it. For me, mindfulness is a philosophy of hope: If I can be aware of the present, without judgement, then I can see clearly, can know with confidence what I need to do next.
If past karma is so controlling, then why would one who sinned bother to begin being good? His goose would be cooked, his future determined. That just makes no sense. The alternative is to put high value on the next action. And the next and the next. This is the logical outcome of a strong mindfulness practice.
We have many ways to celebrate hope: Hanukkah, Christmas, Yom Kippur, New Year’s Eve, Kwanzaa. These are good times to consider beginning anew, love, brotherly love, sisterly love, loving kindness, forgiveness. These things are close to my heart.
So perhaps it’s no surprise that I co-teach Mindfulness.Why?
Working with all our experience is central to mindfulness. ‘All’ means working with the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’.
When we try to block the bad from our awareness it narrows our vision, and we may not see a clear path to right actions.
By right actions I mean actions that are useful to oneself and the world. But isn’t mindfulness all about sitting with things? Not as I see it, not as I teach it. Mindfulness is a path to helpful actions so that our lives, and the lives of others, can be better lived with less suffering and more joy.
Here’s a link to learn more about learning mindfulness: www.LearnMindfulnessNow.com
Perhaps you’d like a free 20 minute chat with us, to find out if this might be a good fit for you? Use our contact form for that.
Click here for the link to Thich Nhat Hanh’s story of forgiveness.
