TWO brothers and their training
By Angela Babin
This is a true story that I used to recount to my young patients undergoing medical treatment for very serious illness. I first told this to a set of identical twin brothers – one of whom was very sick with a blood cancer - while the other one was very healthy and athletic. This was during my years working at a major children’s hospital in New York City as part of the ancillary health care team. (My young patient was challenged with cancer – but he resonated with this recounting of serious injury).
The True Story
There was a set of twin brothers named Rodrigo and Rogério. They grew up on a farm in Brazil and were extremely active. When the boys were just 11 years old, Rodrigo was involved in a terrible accident in which he was pinned underneath a tractor for hours. When they finally got the tractor off and the boy to the hospital, he was severely injured. Several ribs were broken, and some had punctured internal organs. Rushed to surgery, one rib was too damaged and had to be removed.
Recuperation and healing took a while, complicated by set-backs and infection. Rodrigo wore a cast on his body for a long time and lay in the hospital bed for almost one year. All that time – his brother Rogério was healthy and active, going to school and doing sports. It took a long time for Rodrigo to learn how to walk. Finally, when both boys were teenagers they took up Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ). And – they both became professional fighters.
While both young men were skilled and successful – only one of them was a top champion. And – the champion was Rodrigo – with his 34 wins, several gold medals and earning the name “Minotauro.”
In an interview Rodrigo was asked about his time in the hospital. He explained that he did and had “nothing.” (No books, no TV. He prayed and he waited). When asked further about this experience he said that the year lying in bed taught him patience. This skill of patience made him formidably strong and undefeatable with his MMA grappling skills. He was able to wait out his opponent.
He was able to hold on to hope even in drastic and unlucky times. He was able to keep breathing even when breathing was difficult. And – if you look at actual photos of him in fight – you can see the divot in his back where the rib was removed!
This past year I have thought of Rodrigo quite a lot as I experience the wait – for herd immunity, for the possible return to a pre-pandemic life experience.
I want to reflect on mindfulness practice. Our efforts – meditating, breathing, stretching, and acting mindfully, can sometimes appear to be boring and repetitive. But it’s precisely this type of encounter that can teach us patience. Daily practice can fortify us for the “long-game.” Maybe this word is a good synonym for the pandemic experience.
It is a fascinating duality that as we attune our awareness into the right now – we can build stamina for the moments in front of us. This present awareness can not only fortify our skills but perhaps inspire us to notice humor in boredom, strength in fatigue, as well as community in isolation.
What can one take as ‘learning’ from this year?
Maybe our experience of emerging will be fortified and made extra vibrant by the time spent in anticipation. Maybe the win of community and being with friends will be nourished by our present practice of patience. Let us try and look to our experience to educate our understanding of time and self. Moment by moment and breath by breath.
I envision us – presently pinned under the massive weight of this long year – waiting, enduring, and turning towards; until the right moment to emerge…. to walk… to run again.
Background note: Mixed martial arts (MMA) is a very dynamic competitive fighting style – described in the Oxford dictionary as: “an extreme combat sport in which contestants are permitted to use the fighting techniques of wrestling and boxing but also those of martial arts such as kickboxing, judo, and karate.” Angela Babin trains at an advanced level in Shotokan Karate and is experienced in Muay Thay and Tai Chi Chuan as well. She often finds ways to bring her life experience into psychotherapy.
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This writing is from a blog series ©2021 Angela Babin, MS, LCSW.
Learn more about Angela here.
